“Tell Me What You Need” — The Power of Servant Leadership

Leadership Lessons from the Telescope | Rob Douglas

This is part 2 of a series. For Part 1, see https://www.citadelprofessionalsolutions.com/post/leading-by-vision-seeing-beyond-the-horizon-leadership-lessons-from-the-telescope-rob-douglas

Service and trust are the handholds of VisionCasting™—helping others rise to see the same horizon.

There was a time when I thought being effective meant being the smartest person in the room—the one with all the answers, setting the pace, driving the direction. I believed leadership was about strength through knowledge and control. But looking back, I can see that it didn’t make me very inspirational. In fact, I sometimes felt I was getting in the way—blocking others rather than helping them grow.

But one conversation changed everything.

A colleague recently shared with me that, a few years ago, when I first became Chief Engineer, they were working on a particularly difficult problem.  They didn’t know me well or what I could do, but recognized my role and sought out my advice and support.  And apparently, I said something that stuck with them: “Tell me what you need.” When I heard that story again, I teared up, because I don’t remember saying it!

I remember the moment.

I remember the pressure.

I remember the fatigue of trying to make everything work.

I was gorging myself on understanding my new scope and responsibilities—consuming every detail, every decision, as if knowing more would make the uncertainty go away.

I was overwhelmed, and this new ask was something I wasn’t prepared for.

But apparently, and somewhat naturally, I realized I didn’t have the answer. I just wanted to help.

And in that instant, I finally let go of trying to know everything and control everything.

I can see now that that moment represented a turning point. It was the moment I began to understand that leadership isn’t about control, it’s about connection. It’s not about telling everyone what to do, how to do it, and overseeing their work. It’s about helping others bring their best selves to the work by removing the obstacles that stand in their way. It’s about service.

That shift came more clearly into focus when I took a class with Dr. John Michel, who taught Leading and Managing People. His research explores the idea of prototypical leadership and how leaders who reflect the values of their team gain authenticity and trust (Michel, Luvison, Tews, & Wynne, 2024). That concept resonated deeply with me. It affirmed something I had learned intuitively: the best leaders don’t stand apart; they stand among.

What I said that day wasn’t strategy. It was service. And I’ve been striving ever since to make that phrase more than instinct. It’s become a practice, a reminder to keep the focus on others and to create space for them to succeed.  I try to repeat that idea in every meeting I lead: my role is to remove obstacles, deal with blockers, and clear the path for others to create value.  People need to know you are there for them, and you have to invite them to make use of your role, and, really, your power. 

I’ve come to understand that leadership is an act of stewardship. When people trust you with their energy, their time, and their ideas, you owe them transparency, respect, and care. Service doesn’t mean doing everything for everyone.  It does mean understanding what others need to do their best work and then clearing the way for them to do it.

Even now, I have to remind myself of that. It’s easy to slip back into the habit of trying to fix, to direct, to answer. I’ve made that mistake many times. I’m a natural problem solver, so sometimes I overstep. I tell my team to call me on it, and I try not to take it personally. It’s not easy for them, so I make sure to respond with grace when it happens. One wrong move can undo years of trust-building.  But each time I remember, I remind myself to pause, listen, and ask again: What do you need?

Leadership, I’ve learned, is an ongoing act of service—of turning instinct into intention, and intention into trust.

I’ve found that this approach doesn’t just help people perform better; it helps them feel seen. It builds trust and mutual respect. And that trust becomes the foundation for the kind of shared vision at the heart of my VisionCasting™ framework.

📚 References

·       Michel, J. W., Luvison, D., Tews, M. J., & Wynne, K. T. (2024). Servant Leadership and Cooperation: The Moderating Role of Leader Group Prototypicality. Journal of Business and Psychology.

Disclaimer

The views expressed are solely those of the author and do not represent NASA or the Space Telescope Science Institute.

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